Prevent A Tantrum with These Tips

Been There - Done That

This is for those situations when your toddler has something that you need to take away from them and you'd like to prevent a tantrum, or maybe two toddlers that are fighting over one toy, or maybe even a child of any age that can't have their own way.

The Toddler Tantrum

Lets start with the toddlers. One way to prevent a tantrum is to make sure you have thoroughly child proofed your home. Not only for hazard reasons, but if there is something that is special to you that you don't want your little one to mangle, destroy and then scream bloody murder when you take it away from them.

Yeah, that's always fun!! :D The best way to avoid all of that nonsense is to make sure EVERYTHING is out of reach that means anything to you, that is of value, or that they just can't have. Things like nick nacks, special pictures, electronics, cell phones, real books (the kind that rip, unlike baby books - yeah, those), if you work from home - important paper work that you might have mistakenly left on a desk or table.

We want to remove anything that they might want to play with that they can't have. Again, so we don't have to take it away from them and have them screaming bloody murder and having your neighbors thinking you are abusing your child because they are screaming so loud, lol. Talk about embarrassing and mortifying!!

In the event that you have to take something away from a toddler that they can't have, remove it quickly and calmly. Do it so fast that it's almost like they never had it and act like it's an exciting fun thing. Say, thank you, as you make it exciting and fun, like they're doing a good thing. Then hide it quickly and divert their attention extremely fast to something else. Of course, tickling helps, too. :)

Two Toddlers and One Toy

When you have two toddlers fighting over one toy, first you want to figure out who had it first. Give it to the child that had it first and then find something similar for the other toddler to play with, that way they feel like they are playing with the same toy.

You could also give them something different that's just as fun. Also, try to encourage sharing when they are not fighting over one toy, because that can help avoid a fight to begin with. With one and two year old's, though, this situation is usually inevitable.

The Grocery Store Tantrum

For grocery store tantrums, those can be avoided by promising the child that if they are a good boy or girl, they get a treat. Maybe 99 cent gold fish at the register, or a 50 cent candy bar. Cookies; whatever you feel would be a reward. It could even be a 99 cent toy. I don't think this is bribing; more like encouraging good behavior and treating a child for sitting nicely.

If a tantrum ensues, then there are situations where you warn that you will leave the store if they don't stop. If they don't stop, tell them they will not be allowed to come with you again if they can't behave. If they still don't listen, then leave the store. They need to know that it's not acceptable to behave like that in a store.

I had this happen with my older two boys a few times when they were younger, but not with my younger kids. I was actually complimented once by another customer at the deli who said I should write a book on how to get kids to behave in the store!!

With Older Kids

When an older child is ready to have a tantrum, even a teenager, just send them to their room. With younger kids, say 6 years of age, time it. I start with 10 minutes, then if he repeats the behavior, back in his room he goes.

With older kids, I tell them to stay in their room until they can talk to me the way that they should be. Try to avoid yelling at any age because it only makes the situation worse. Sometimes, though, with older kids we have to raise our voice to be heard and asserted. But really, though, kids pay more attention when you talk to them.

And talk to them regularly. There is a fine line between being a friend and parent to our teens. We want to be both and not one or the other. When you have both, you avoid the situations where you need to send them to their rooms in the first place. :D