Just kind of how I'm feeling right now and why I haven't posted much. Trying to piece myself back together... This too shall pass...
Tuesday, December 28, 2021
Monday, November 22, 2021
Carmen's Inspirational Creations: Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, Today's a Gift
My angels are talking to me today...this thought popped into my head, so I went with it...❤️✨
Yesterday is history...Tomorrow's a mystery...Today's a Gift...That's why it's called the present.🎁
Saturday, November 20, 2021
Lazy Girl Pumpkin Pancakes - So Easy...
Easy Pumpkin Pancakes🥞
It's been a while...long time no see. Haven't felt the desire to blog...I apologize to anyone who actually reads my stuff...
But I've had some ideas lately and what I made for breakfast this morning combined with the fact that "pumpkin season" is almost over gave me the motivation and desire to blog what we had for breakfast this morning...ha.😃
One of my "ideas" was to add a new recipe section for those times when I've experimented and concocted awesome easy recipes for "lazy" moments in life, or moments where maybe, perhaps (coughs) we don't have enough on hand to make said recipe from scratch...or we just don't feel like it. Today I was game for making homemade pumpkin pancakes from scratch, but behold...surprise, surprise, Carmen forgot something...flour. Can you believe? Who doesn't have flour in their pantry?
Apparently I ran out and it's been a while since I needed to use it, so here we are ready to make homemade pumpkin pancakes and there's no flour. But then...a little light bulb💡went off in my head, and I said, what if I use "boxed pancake mix" and then add in the other ingredients?🤔
And so, the experiment began...lazy girl pumpkin pancakes.🧐 And, voila, they were delicious,😋so I wanted to share. What I did was I shopped around for pumpkin pancake recipes before realizing I was out of flour.
I wrote down the recipe I wanted to use, and then combined some helpful tips and adjustments from people who tried the recipes and mixed up the recipes because they were fairly similar, adding in some things that others didn't have or omitting something that I didn't feel I needed or didn't like, like vinegar, that was in a few of the recipes but I omitted it.
And so, let the fun begin...here we go...🥳
Easy Pumpkin Pancakes Recipe🥞
- 4 Cups of Pancake Mix
- 1-15oz can of pure pumpkin
- 1 tsp ground nutmeg
- 1 tsp cloves
- 1/4 tsp ground ginger
- 1-1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
- 3-4 cups of water (when you get to the fourth cup, pour a little at a time till you get the right texture, not too thick, not too watered down.)
- Optional: I found these in other recipes and decided to include them, but you don't have to. 3tbsp melted butter; 3tbsp maple syrup.
- Also Optional! You could add in some fresh cranberries, diced apples, banana, etc. Yum... Next time I plan on adding in cranberries.
- Also, also optional: Instead of using nutmeg, cloves and cinnamon, you can use "allspice." I didn't have allspice, so I made my own. To make your own allspice, you just simply combine equal parts of all three of the above: nutmeg, cloves and cinnamon. Never realized how easy it was to do till I realized I didn't have that either and had to make mine from scratch!
With Love,
💖Carmen
Friday, October 15, 2021
Thursday, October 7, 2021
Monday, September 27, 2021
Carmen's Inspirational Creations: Breathe, this too shall pass...
 |
| I'm in a bit of a dark place lately and this is what I keep telling myself... |
What is a "Queen?"
Now, this can be anything from what we see in movies, the music industry, or in magazines. Leading little girls and young women astray, teaching them to expose themselves and to sleep with just anyone. I mean, let's be real here - that's the message in many songs and in movies. But this is not what makes a Queen...a queen is more than her sexuality. That's just a fragment of her essence...
To clean this up a bit because I don't want to offend anyone...I'm not saying this type of woman is not a queen. There's nothing wrong with owning your sexuality and your beauty. It's sexy. But I think some young girls who don't add up to these images and this standard of beauty think this is what makes a queen and it's not. I personally think the biggest things that make a queen is self-respect and confidence.
To me, a queen can be any color, any size, come from any educational background, and she can be any religion. She can dress any way she pleases. Maybe she likes to dress sexy. She can look sexy rocking a pair of sweats. She can wear a face full of makeup. She can wear no makeup at all and still be beautiful. She can have long beautiful nails. Maybe she likes short unpolished nails. She can wear high heels. She can wear combat boots. She can be sporty. She can be creative and artsy. She can fix cars. She can be a book worm. She can be poor. She can be rich.
And she can be an average nobody just doing her best in life, but as long as she's confident and has self-respect, she's a queen. And most definitely, if she uses her voice to bring change, is kind to others, and lives her life as an example to others, she's a queen. Every woman is capable of being a queen as long as she believes in herself and keeps it moving.
And what I mean by living your life as an example to others doesn't mean perfection, living a perfect life, because no one's perfect. We all make mistakes and if you say otherwise, you're lying. We can learn by example too, when people mess up. Sometimes those are the best examples to learn from in life. When someone falls and then watching them get back up again, brush it off, and keep on moving... We can mess up many times, but as long as we keep getting back up and learning, and growing...we'll be good. Sometimes we have to make the same mistake multiple times before we finally learn our lesson.
But back to the letting it all hang out thought...because I have little girls who don't lack guidance. I'm over-protective of what they hear or see until they're old enough to understand that much of what you see and hear on the TV, radio, and internet is just good entertainment. And that you don't have to be everything you see or hear. Be yourself, believe in yourself, and have respect for yourself. We can't protect them forever, but as long as I teach them that, then I know they can listen to it if they choose to and they'll be "good" later in life.
I like "adult" content, because I'm an adult, but I shouldn't have been listening to certain things when I was younger. Again, I had no guidance. I can remember jamming to "I wanna sex you up" and "Down with OPP" when I was 12/13 and not even fully understanding what the songs meant, and then later, "Age ain't nothin but a number" and I ended up pregnant at 15 (songs I still love by the way, just shouldn't have been jamming to them at 12).
Not saying it was because of the music, not even close to saying that, but it certainly influenced my thoughts and feelings. Everything we see and hear influences our thoughts, our feelings, and in turn influence our realities unless you're awake and strong enough to decipher the difference. Right now, this is not what I want my little girls looking at or listening to, so I have still somehow managed to shield them as much as humanly possible from things I deem inappropriate for their age...getting harder though.
It's funny though, cause no one taught me these life lessons. I had to learn them on my own like many of us. I had no guidance growing up and, no, it's not the industry's fault I made poor choices when I was younger, but I feel like it "takes a community to raise a child" and kids who lack guidance or misguided kids are the ones most vulnerable from receiving the wrong messages in the world.
I wasn't taught how to be a woman. I literally taught myself everything from a young age, nothing was taught to me, not even how to deal with my Puerto Rican hair, or how to shave my legs, or how to cook. I taught myself everything, including learning later in life to respect myself and my body, unfortunately, after becoming a mother at 15. I ran the streets from 12-15 and ended up pregnant...
What's funnier yet is that in my 20s, I lived in low cut shirts and tank tops, not to be a "ho," but just because I liked them. That was my style and how I was comfortable, but as my sons grew to be teenagers and I then had two little girls to raise, I began to become more conscious and aware of the way I dressed as to not leave the wrong impression. And in doing so, I began to teach my little girls what was not taught to me - to respect their bodies and have self-respect. I saw things so differently once I had little girls and teenage sons to raise.
This has been a challenge with what they "see" and with what all their friends are doing, or what they're doing on TikTok or YouTube, what this one or that one is doing at school, etc. It's not even what's on TV anymore or just music - it's now the latest trends everywhere, etc. This is what I hear anyway when one little girl tries to justify begging me to wear something I won't allow her to wear.
So we try and compromise because I want her to be herself too. I just want her to be herself and have self-respect if that makes sense. Throughout my journey to teach my own little girls to have respect for their bodies (they're now 11, almost 12), I had a little help along the way with the former director of their local Boys and Girls Club, a strong black woman who shall remain nameless, because I try not to share too many personal details about location.
I met her before my girls came along, when my boys went to the club. She was trained as director by the former director who was a man, and who had made a major impact on my sons' lives, and who also sadly passed from cancer shortly after turning the reigns over to her...
When she first came along though, we bumped heads and I later realized it was because we were actually so much alike and I grew to love her when my girls joined... And I was so very thankful that my daughters had someone like her to help guide them, because like they say, it takes a village to raise a child. She is one of the most amazing women I've ever met, honestly.
She taught the girls at club to have respect for their bodies, that they don't have to cover their faces in makeup to be beautiful (including a staff member), she embraced her natural hair, she's confident, and she taught them to embrace their talents and use their voices to be kind and to bring change with certain programs she implemented like "Smart Girls" to teach them these things, an amazing human just like the man she took over for.
Initially, it seemed a little extreme when she banned tummy shirts and spaghetti strap tanks during the summer, but she was right, at least I think she was. I didn't then. I'm kind of torn on this one. I think it's okay to show a little tummy and to wear spaghetti strap tanks, but when it's hot of course and not too much tummy.
I'm not okay with tummy shirts or any shirt that reveals too much on top, nothing too revealing. At home when they're lounging, sure if it's a hot day. But not outside of the home. Not only do I want them to have respect for themselves, but there's also unfortunately so many predators in the world too, so we have to worry about that aspect as well. I mean, when they were nine and I was hanging Easter eggs outside, they were playing and doing car wheels. Grown men beeped at my babies...twice...9-year-old girls wearing shorts...disgusting. And that's at nine, can't imagine as they get older.
I'm gonna train them to be vicious if anyone tries to hurt them. I know that what we wear is no excuse for a man to assault a woman. But what I'm saying is it could add to an already dangerous situation, attracting unwanted attention from predators, increasing a chance of a predatory situation. I'm just extra protective of my girls and really street smart.
I have one who has a lot of respect for herself and the other one struggles with being a follower. I'm trying to break her of that, but it's not easy in this world. We're in different times... On top of all that, you've got girls and women out there in the world feeling bad about themselves if they don't measure up to the images that the world portrays as a "queen" when in actuality, they are queens.
To me, a true queen uses her mind to get ahead in life, not her body, and she has respect for herself and her body. A true queen also uses her voice to bring change, not to teach little girls and young women to use their bodies to get ahead in life or to get attention. We can embrace our sexuality and sensuality, but that is not the entire essence of a queen.
My girls are smart and talented, and I pray that as they get older they never feel the need to use their bodies to move forward in the world, or to get attention. They are good enough. This is just my opinion based on my own personal life experience. I know we all come from different experiences, but this is mine and my perspective. I want better for my girls...
Don't let anyone make you feel like you have to look a certain way to be a Queen. You're beautiful and you're enough just the way you are...
With Love,
Carmen
Sunday, September 19, 2021
Saturday, September 18, 2021
Saturday, August 28, 2021
Monday, August 16, 2021
Carmen's Inspirational Creations: I AM Not Defined by My Past
The past should make us or break us, but not define who we are as people... I am not defined by my past. This thought crossed my mind recently, cause since I don't walk on water, I've made mistakes in life.
And although I believe I needed to make the mistakes I made and go through the things I've gone through in order to become the woman I am today, there are things from my past that I'm not proud of and that will never "define" who I am as a woman and human being. No one is perfect.
I'm a different person than I was when I was younger and lost in life. I'm also not ashamed of my mistakes; well, some I am... I digress... Don't let your past define who you are. The past is part of who we are, but it does not define us...there is a difference.
With Love,
Carmen
Monday, August 9, 2021
Carmen's Inspirational Creations: Cherish Your Loved Ones Because Tomorrow is Not Guaranteed
This popped into my head yesterday, cause I started thinking about life and things, and my family. And then as you think about one thing, that thought leads to another thought and another. And I found myself thinking about pictures of loved ones lost, and thinking of all the people, good people, that I knew who are no longer here, including nonfamily loved ones.
And sometimes a picture is so ingrained in your memory that you don't need to pull it out to look at it, so I saw these images in my mind. One family photo in particular always crosses my mind of my mother, my big brothers, my little brother and myself. One big brother is no longer here, another is no longer here cause he's been missing for 25 years, my mother is not well, and now my little bro and I are all that's left as far as siblings go and we're really all we have.
I think of my aunt who was like a second mother to me, and who was the only person that truly loved me unconditionally and God took her from me in 2009 of cancer. I think of all the other family members who have died from "cancer." So many people in my town, young people my kids know in their 20s are losing their parents to "cancer," many losing their moms.
So much loss and when you think on those things it makes you think about who you have left and how you need to cherish every one of them, because we really don't know how much time we have. Any second could be our last. But my thoughts didn't end there. I found myself going back to age 13 when I tried taking my own life and landed myself in a psych ward for 30 days with adults.
I remembered how my roommate was this sweet blind elderly lady who was in her 80s or 90s. I'm pretty sure she was in her 90s. And her reason for being there...she was alone. All of her loved ones were gone, including her husband and her...children. She outlived her kids. She could no longer see.
And she wanted to join them. She was alone. That sweet little old lady's memory always stayed with me. I remember bonding with her during our time together and wanting her to feel loved and not alone. So I guess today's message is simply to cherish your loved ones, because tomorrow is not guaranteed.
With Love,
Carmen
Monday, August 2, 2021
Friday, July 30, 2021
Monday, July 26, 2021
Carmen's Inspirational Creations: Love is Patient, Love is Kind
 |
This popped into my head today, so I try to roll with what I'm guided with and this is it for today... This message was for me. Maybe it's for you, too... #bealight With Love, Carmen |
Friday, July 23, 2021
Carmen's Inspirational Creations: I write my own narrative
Whether we realize it or not, we are in control of our own destinies and we write our own narratives. We also control what we see or hear, things that enter our sense, our minds, and our consciousness, things that maybe we don't need to allow in. Remove toxicity from your life, whatever that may be that triggers you, causes you distress, or upsets you in any way and take back control.
We're in control of our own destinies, realities and the masters of our own universe. Don't allow anyone else to write your narrative. Take back control realizing you can... And never let anyone or anything bring you down making you feel less than, or let anyone tell you that you can or can't do something. WE write our narratives - NO ONE ELSE, unless we let them... Write your own narrative. You can do anything and be anyone you want to be. You are worth it and you deserve the best. Don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise...
With Love,
Carmen
Tuesday, July 13, 2021
Carmen's Inspirational Creations: No one can hurt you unless you let them
 |
| There's a lot of evil people in the world who take pleasure in hurting others, but no one can hurt you unless you LET THEM. Walk away... With Love, Carmen |
Wednesday, June 30, 2021
Carmen's Inspirational Creations: I AM Wolf
I love quotes with wolves, and the animal itself for many reasons but one reason is because one of my all time favorite cartoon movies is Balto II: Wolf Quest. I first saw that movie in my 20s and it made me real emotional, cause I connected with Alu, the daughter trying to find out who she "really was." She was half husky and half wolf.
Her father was wolf and she ended up on a spiritual journey partially guided by her spirit guides and wolf grandmother in spirit (the raven), leading her on the path of her true destiny was to be the wolf - her wolf side. She was an outcast because she didn't look like a husky like her siblings. she looked like wolf and acted like wolf.
This is how I felt being half Puerto Rican, my father being Puerto Rican and losing my Puerto Rican roots when he left the country back to his home country when I was 12. I never felt like I knew who I was after he left and had serious identity issues for years. I was in my mid 20s when I saw this, also the start of my own journey.
And both of my grandmothers are deceased. My father's mother whom I was named after passed when my father was 12 of Leukemia, which is why I was named after her. And my mother's mother who was also very special, a very spiritual Christian woman and amazing mother who passed of cancer when I was three months old. I know both of my grandmothers are with me...
My journey of getting help for depression that started at age 12 when my father abandoned me and I started getting bullied and other things I was dealing with from the past and present at that time had just begun. At that time in my life, I felt empty, dark and lost. It was hard for me to smile "real smiles" and I felt like I just went through the motions of life.
My spiritual journey also began in my mid to late 20s, and I've been trying to connect with my Puerto Rican roots, so when I saw this I just connected with it on so many deep levels and I think it even made me cry 😂, cause I could relate to Alu. I, too, am my father's daughter. Okay... Actually,🧐it did make me cry😂. A beautiful little cartoon movie with deep spiritual meaning. Will always have my heart...❤️
With Love,
Carmen
Saturday, June 26, 2021
Friday, June 25, 2021
Wednesday, June 16, 2021
Monday, June 14, 2021
Intermittent Fasting Update and Tips
So it's been a little bit, but I decided to make this post an update on my intermittent fasting cause it's getting exciting now. And with my update I'd like to share some things I've learned through trial and error along the way.
That way someone else out there wanting to give this a try doesn't have to learn the hard way like I did and you'll get your results faster. So here we go...
I'll start with the fact that I'm still doing the 16:8 IF schedule, and that works for me. However, now I try ending my fast at 12 p.m. instead of two and then begin again at 8 p.m.. Sometimes I start later, too. It just depends on the day, but this is basically what I've been doing and it works for me. My body has adjusted to this routine.
Where I went wrong the first four weeks...trying to fast with a little bit of cream and sugar in my coffee. Before I did this, I found that you could do just a tad, like a teaspoon of cream and sugar but it's still not as good as a full fast without any sugar whatsoever. Well, I learned the hard way. I saw some results, but not like I did when I finally sacrificed my morning cup of coffee.
Before I explain, let me add that you can still have your coffee if you like it black. I just can't do this, so I trained my body to get up and move with just water or plain green tea and voila, my body is just fine. Actually, lately I've been trying green tea with cinnamon which this doctor says helps to speed up weight loss.
I never thought I'd see the day where I could wake up and get going without my cup of coffee doused in cream and sugar. But waiting till 12-1 gives me something to look forward to when I finally have that cup of coffee the way I like it and it makes me feel like I earned it. At first as I began to cut back on sugar, I did experience an increase in headaches, which I believe was a combination of stress in my life but also sugar leaving my body.
Not getting as many headaches in the past few weeks, so that's good. And I feel like I have more energy which is shocking cause I used to feel like I literally could not even get out of bed without my first cup. Sometimes, okay, usually, TWO to move my rear. But I now have MORE energy than with my coffee in the morning.
I've lost track of weeks here and have yet to step on a scale, but looking at the calendar it looks like I'm at week 12. Like I've said before, the scale has traumatized me, so I'm waiting. I might do it today actually and then check again on Monday of next week, because I've added something else into my regimen that I wanted to share, which is making the remainder of the weight melt off and I wish I had done this sooner.
But I feel like this was kind of good in a way, cause it showed me what works, what doesn't, and what really speeds things up. I was waiting for the right time to shuffle in exercise and I feel like I've lost enough weight (about two pant sizes and a bra cup) to give it a go. My reasoning for waiting was again the psychological factor of as I've explained in previous posts.
How I tried-and-tried exercising, working out up to an hour a day, five days a week at one point and my weight wouldn't budge. In fact, I had gained. It was beyond frustrating. And also as I've stated before, this was never a problem I experienced a day in my life till my late 30s into my early 40s. So if this can work for me in my 40s, this can work for anyone.
A year ago I gave the Chloe Ting challenge a try 😂. <----- That's how it went, yeah. Weight didn't budge. I "imagined" it was a few times, but, no, it wasn't budging. I gave up and began to focus the remainder of 2020 on my health, which as it turned out part of my health problems were adding to my weight gain. It wasn't all of it, but it was a big part of it. Blah, blah, metabolism, age, and sedentary job added into it as well, not gonna lie.
Okay. So I was already seeing amazing results by cutting out sugar in the morning, but I'm not kidding you, after my first day of doing Chloe's 2 week shred again, bam, I woke up the next morning with a visual difference in my face, arms, and stomach. Morning after second day, bam, even more again. I feel like I finally cracked the code to get the weight off.
And that day was exciting for me because I've also been working on my skin and hair the past year and everything's coming together at once, which I'll post another time or else I'll be here all day 😂. What was exciting was that one of my girls said to me after I did my mascara for the day, which is all I wear for the most part, along with some powder cause I'm transforming my skin too.
And she said, "mommy, look at me." And she made me look at her like three times and she said, "mommy, your eyes look so pretty today." "You look so pretty." And I laughed because I had made a mess with my mascara like I always do when I apply it, then I have to wipe it off.
But it looks like I have eyeliner on at first till it dries and I wipe it off. She thought I had eyeliner on 😂 and that it looked so pretty on mommy. That was super cute. But kids are so honest and it just made my day. They're my go to if I need to know if something looks bad or not, especially her sister 😂.
My face is shrinking a lot, which is why they looked "different," cause it's the same mess every day but I'm finally losing the weight and starting to look like me, which feels so good. Today was day three, so we'll see how this 2 week challenge goes. Bottom line, if you really want to see results with intermittent fasting, fast results, you have to completely cut sugar, none at all during your fasting window, and add in exercise and it will literally melt off.
Yes, you can still lose without the exercise. But if fast is what you want, and you can't wait to love yourself when you look in the mirror and feel good in your clothes then exercise too. That's all I want is to feel good in my clothes again, and recognize myself when I look in the mirror or catch a glimpse of my reflection somewhere and not cringe 😂. I think I can finish the rest of this weight off within 30 days. We shall see...so exciting!
Good luck to anyone else out there going through the same thing trying to make a change! Good luck with your transformation! We've got this!
With Love,
Carmen
Monday, May 31, 2021
Saturday, May 29, 2021
Wednesday, May 26, 2021
Carmen's Funny Ecards: Funny Vouchers Ecard
I seriously hate when I get stereotyped. It's honestly happened to me for one reason or another since I was a kid. But now if I have a cart full of groceries things are assumed about me as if you can't have a cart full of groceries without being on food stamps or WIC? First of all, I had WIC when my older boys were young. I only had it for my first two and not till they were five, just for a few years, no one after that. And it doesn't mean you're on welfare if you get WIC.
Although, now that I'm no longer in poverty I realize that people view any kind of handout as welfare. But when you're in it, when you're in poverty, you don't view WIC as welfare. You view cash assistance as welfare. Actually, I still don't view WIC as welfare. There's plenty of people that get WIC that work and don't get other types of assistance including food stamps.
It's a whole new world when you learn what others view as welfare once you leave the poverty world. Everything's welfare. But, no, none of that and the lady gave me attitude. So I guess if I had vouchers she would have been even nastier than she already was. I later came to realize though that this particular lady is nasty with everyone.
I even witnessed her nastiness to a woman who appeared to be in her 70s and who was being sweet. Who knows? I also hate shopping near the 1st of the month with my carts full cause then the dirty looks really roll in. You just know what they're thinking. You can see it in their eyes, the disdain and assumptions. Everyone's eying everyone else trying to figure out who's on food stamps cause it's near the 1st.
I get real dirty looks if I dare run out of things that first week, then the cashier's always surprised when I pay credit or debit. It's disgusting, really. I buy the same amount every week and I pay for it, me. And I don't look down on anyone that needs help. If someone needs help while they're helping their self or if they're disabled, shouldn't we help? What's wrong with this world...
Saturday, May 22, 2021
Thursday, May 20, 2021
Getting Sued and Audited at the Same Time: New York's Covid Relief is a Joke...
It's funny too, cause in the "media" they say how they're offering all this "COVID relief" and working with people, and helping people, but is that the reality? In my reality, that wasn't the reality. I did get a stimulus for myself and two kids which I'm very thankful for. But here's what really happened to me this year...my reality and my experience.
Maybe others were able to get help. But not only was I not able to get help and climbed out of the hell hole of a situation myself that I fell into by clawing my way out, but I was sued twice and audited twice on top of that. Let's get into it, shall we?? Okay. So let's go back to spring of 2020, when the s**t hit the fan globally and everything starts shutting down.
Schools closed for "two weeks" mid-march here in New York, then suddenly just as quickly as the schools were closing, the news made it seem like certain death in the New York hospitals if you got sick with COVID. If you had COVID like symptoms in the very beginning, you were s**t out of luck because your doctor's office was now closed and would only see you over the telephone, not even web visits initially.
And there was no testing right off the bat, and then the first testing when it was available was shotty and unreliable. Myself and two of my adult sons were down in NYC just as COVID was exploding in the city, only no one knew yet. We had two appointments at NYU. So then on top of that, one of my sons, one of these two, had also been down in Miami for a week around the time the s**t started hitting the fan.
I told him not to go but he's an adult and it was something special planned from back in December after a rough year. He was not canceling and no one really knew what was going on. I'm being super careful, but we all get sick. No idea if it was from when we were at NYU, or him being in Miami. I also have a sharp memory of a lady standing next to me at the pharmacy when I was there to pick up my daughter's inhaler and she's telling the pharmacist that she was up from the city and she was right next to me.
Could have been at the grocery store too - who knows? But we all got sick and it was definitely respiratory illness. Three of us were the sickest. I counted and I was literally the worst of it for seven to eight weeks. The first week to two weeks I could barely sit up straight or talk for long without feeling winded.
It was scary stuff. We got through it though because I'm an herb ninja, okay. It literally is every man and woman for themselves, especially at that time. I whipped out everything natural under the sun that's antiviral and antiinflammatory and we got better.
But while getting sick, I lost time from work and fell behind. I tried working through this even the first week when I was my absolute worst till I literally had to listen to my body or else it would have been certain death. I only made $62 that week... The next week, I worked maybe three days here and there when I could, then as soon as I felt winded I'd leave my desk.
Each week it got better. Had some setbacks. Also had a couple very scary moments where I was honestly afraid for my life. I even put together notebooks of special family recipes for my sons in case anything happened to me - I really did and that took me time because I felt winded doing it and had to do it here and there.
With all of that said, here we are going through this nightmare and my girls are homeschooling, which at first the schools really struggled with getting the kids adjusted. But on top of all this...the threats start coming in. So I took the little bit I had coming in and made sure I paid in order of threat level priority and I fed my children - utilities were the most immediate cause they can turn those off.
Even though they said they were "working with people" they were still threatening and I didn't take a chance. So I paid them. I fell behind three months with my landlord but thankfully they put the moratoriums into place to prevent eviction, but he sure wanted to put me out. He wasn't working with me, put my stomach in a knot every month.
As soon as I got better, I started to work on getting caught back up as best as I could. But it took time because I wasn't making as much as I normally would with my girls home schooling. By the fall I was three quarters of the way caught up with my landlord and by February of this year I was completely caught up with him, including water bills as well.
It was March of 2020 I had my first letter of a tax issue. But they gave me time and we straightened that out by the end of the year. It was an issue from my 2018 return. Then fast forward...I do my 2020 taxes and now New York was holding up my refund because they see what happened with my federal which was then straightened out. Meanwhile, I'm seriously just a little fish, a nobody.
Just a single mom doing her best barely getting by without handouts and you've got billionaires who shall remain nameless that go, what, ten years of not paying taxes supposedly. It was literally an honest mistake that was straightened out. So now New York is going extra hard on me to prove this and that, including proving my daughters are my daughters...I've been claiming them for 11 years and now this year during a pandemic and when they have "COVID relief for New Yorkers" plastered on their tax website they're asking me to prove they're mine.
So I do all of that and get them other documentation they needed. Good, I'm thinking. My 1099 should be sufficient, I'm thinking. Wrong. No. They gave me this tiny refund back and want bank statements now and other things, which I'm providing. No problem providing that. But why is my question, why now? The time couldn't be anymore WRONG to hurt someone that's already been through so much this year.
At the SAME EXACT TIME I was served with court papers by my car's lien holder. Up till "COVID" I had been paying on my car just fine for over two years. After I got sick I fell behind in my car payments. At first the bank worked with me, but the car was no longer a priority. My priorities were: LANDLORD, UTILITIES, AND FOOD. I was forced to sacrifice my car.
I was making less and the car does not feed us and we were okay without it for now. Long story short...bank stopped working with me last fall. June of 2020 the car wouldn't pass inspection. Needed $2,500 worth of work. I was sold a lemon. I did regular oil changes, wasn't that, and didn't drive it much because I work from home anyway, just normal running around I did with it for kids, store, appointments, family, etc.
So anyway, I was told when I got the car it was a "sensor," then last June my mechanic tells me it needs all this work to pass inspection. So fast forward again...to the fall. The bank is offering me this "COVID" relief program but I have to get them x, y, and z by such-and-such date and time. I get it to them on the date but literally just TWO HOURS LATE and for good reason.
I had a loved one in the hospital, which I will not get into. So I explain all of this and nope, we don't care. Now, we're going to sue you during a pandemic. So I said good luck with that, the courts aren't even open yet. 😝 But they waited till they were like the evil vile bank that they are. Forgot to add that they didn't want the car. I told them I took it off the road in October and to come get it, which I have proof of, and they didn't want it cause of the engine issues.
Then I get second opinion from another mechanic recently to see if it's worth fixing since I'm stuck with the d**n thing and the guy tells me the engine has now seized on the car...and just last week I was served with court papers for this worthless lemon car. Goody, goody gum drops, lucky me, audited and sued all at the same time! Lucky for me, I'M A STRONG PERSON - BRING IT.
At the end of the day, I'm not worried. It's just sad really and a waste of time. Now I have to take time from work to pull 52 weeks of pay reports, which is time consuming for what? It's just not right to put anyone through this right now. People are going through enough as it is..."COVID relief," pfft, oh, and I never qualified for their rental assistance last year either...such a joke.
I worked my way out of the poverty I was raised in from my living room over ten years ago. But you know what, they want you poor. They want you IN THE SYSTEM. This too shall pass...I know it will. This was so long that I just realized I left out the douche bag 😂 that tried suing me for a car accident from two years ago involving one of my sons' who was on my insurance at the time.
My son took full responsibility right from the jump. The guy was literally fine. No ambulance, said he was fine on scene, driveable cars, then almost two years later we get sued during COVID. Come to find out too that he was the boyfriend of a distant relative, odds, right. We found out the injury he was claiming was really from things he did in his free time and he thought he was gonna get a free ride 🤑 on us during a pandemic - people are so dirty.
The same son had two other accidents where the other drivers were at fault and found at fault by their own insurance companies and they settled but there was no injury cause my son wasn't hurt and he's not that type. The one was head on too and he never went to the hospital even though I thought he should have at least got checked out. But he said he was fine and he's not that way to milk a minor injury for a big settlement. People...🤪
With Love,
Carmen
Sunday, May 16, 2021
Thursday, May 13, 2021
Wednesday, May 12, 2021
Thursday, May 6, 2021
Finishing My Degree This Fall and Intermittent Fasting Update
Was gonna do it last year but then COVID happened...so I'm doing it this year. Just officially registered my classes on Tuesday! So I'll graduate next spring and I can't tell you how excited I am. One of my classes is criminology. I'm salivating for that class...this is my passion...law.
When I finish my associates, will be moving on towards my bachelors and I have a year to decide if I wanna make that more criminal justice or legal studies, because my long-term goal is to go into law. But I'm also interested in profiling...not sure. Law school or masters after that...plenty of time to decide.
I'm a young minded 42 - never too late. I hope this inspires someone out there that it's never too late to continue or further your education if that's a dream of yours. Also, I got my GED at 16, so I didn't get that graduation ceremony experience. Next year I'll get that experience and my kids will watch me. We're all looking forward to it, so exciting...
My dream is to help people who get rammed by the broke system (<----good vid on transformation in the system) - the wrongfully accused, getting the shaft during trial, defamation, slander, fighting against slumlords, family law, advocacy, fighting to get laws changed or passed. When I say "system," I mean everything, not just the above scenario. There's so much I want to do... But my other good news is my intermittent fasting update.
Wow, I'm shook! When you do it right it works SO FAST! The weight is literally falling off of me now that I've sacrificed my morning coffee. It really is mind over matter and it's so empowering to know that I can start my day without my coffee, which is shocking for me considering I used to be like this when it came to coffee... My self-esteem is worth it...so I have my first cup of coffee at two, which is when I break my fast.
I'm only doing this Monday-Friday, not on the weekends. I eat normal between two-eightish but still try to eat healthy and be mindful of what I'm eating. Not gonna lie, I'll eat a couple potato chips, or a cookie or two, or small portion of ice cream. I'm not dieting. This is different...
But I also eat fruit, veggies, and just like I normally would. I eat healthy and I eat some junk. I don't over indulge on junk. I believe in balance and that wasn't my problem. Nothing else worked for me in my over 40 weight loss journey - nothing, not even working out an hour a day.
And like I said, this wasn't a problem till I was in my mid to late 30s and had also developed gut issues. They say the gut health is the key to overall health...my gut is healing and this is helping while it heals. I think for me it was a combination, like I said before, of metabolism changes, sedentary work, and my gut issues.
But it's WORKING! Intermittent fasting works and I wish I didn't waste the first four weeks of my journey with my morning coffee. I would have reached my goal sooner. I'll weigh in at eight week mark which I believe is coming up in two weeks, then I'll share pounds lost. We'll just have to keep in mind that I messed myself up with the first four weeks.
Till next time...
With Love,
Carmen
Friday, April 30, 2021
Wednesday, April 28, 2021
Tuesday, April 27, 2021
Aging with Grace and Age Shaming AKA Ageism
I've been wanting to write about aging for a while now but wasn't ready to wrap my mind around everything I wanted to say, cause I have a lot to say on this one.
The inspiration for my rapid thought production on this one is that I recently came across a video where a man was rating beautiful aging women (I think they're beautiful - he called them "spoiled milk") in Hollywood on his top list of women that age like "spoiled milk."😲
In fact, he says that "men age like fine wine and women age like spoiled milk," 😲 and this was coming from a man that, dude, seriously needs to take a long look in the mirror. Have you looked lately?🧐😂I never knew this was a "thing" till I got closer to 40. It seems like it just popped up, but, no, I think it's always been a thing in Hollywood anyway.
In the real world, in my world, the way I was raised is you're born and then you begin to age. Everyone ages.😃It's not something that only happens to a select few... However, the way we age depends on: genetics, health, maybe even wealth but really doesn't have to be the case, skincare, and fitness.
I also believe stress reduction and spirituality can make you live longer too, along with the ability to have a good laugh daily. Laughing keeps us young. Let's dive into this one a bit further... The women he examined, who shall remain nameless because I'm not down with age shaming, are to me all beautiful women.
Some of them are women that have had work done in the past and I personally have noticed that women that have had things like face lifts, botox, etc. age the worse. Still beautiful but I do feel that if you just take care of your skin, exercise, take care of your health, you age better.
There's so many beautiful women in Hollywood over the age of 40 that just take care of themselves without "procedures" and they're ageing "like fine wine." I think this can go both ways. It's not a male female thing. I've seen men that age like s**t and vice versa. It's all in how we take care of ourselves.
If you don't take care of yourself and/or have bad genetics you won't age so well. Is it bad to age? Come on. Aging is a part of life! We all age. As much as we'd like to look like we're in our 20s till we're 90, 😂, that's just not happening. We can prolong it as long as we're able to and that's about it.
What we can do is "age gracefully," so as we age, we age in the best way possible - naturally and beautifully. Embracing the changes that take place in our body and taking care of ourselves the best we can, giving it our all. As a kid I was the little girl that loved old people. I've always had a soft spot for the elderly or disabled. I've never viewed my elders as anything but my elders.
I never looked at anyone over 40 and thought, ew, they're aging like s**t. I mean, what is wrong with people? Aging is part of life! The reaper is coming for us all...that's why we age. From dust to dust...we begin to age from the moment we're born. For me, my aging process has been an interesting one and here's what I've noticed with myself... I've been one of the lucky ones.
When I was in my 20s people would tell me I still looked like I was in my teens. Literally in my late 20s, early 30s, people said I still looked like, to quote, "you look like you're 16 yourself." Cause I had teenagers - teen mom story to come... In my 20s I was obsessed with skincare and since I was 19 I've always honestly just washed with oatmeal soap which is really good for the skin.
Later I added in African black soap, also good for skin, along with other things that I love. I went to a spa and had two light peels, but that's it. The rest was just me taking care of my skin. Oh, and, duh, how can I forget things like dead sea mud clay masks, the Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay, and microdermabrasion products. Homemade masks are my absolute favorite though.
So fast forward...I was aging great till I was 38. I used to smoke but only had 1-2 a day. That's how I ended my sorry day was to sit on my porch at night and have one or two cigarettes before bed, eww. Been smoke free for over a year now. But smoking adds to the aging process, I digress...
Anyhow, I still got "carded" buying cigarettes till I was 38. Then I started having health problems, a s**t ton of stress between age 35 and 38 began to add up as well - stress ages, and wasn't taking care of my skin. I was in full on mom mode and honestly, didn't give a f**k.
I just wanted to work, pay my bills, and have time for my kids if there was any time leftover after working. Me, went out the window. Carmen who? Once my health problems began, I started taking better care of myself again and now I'm throwing the damage that was done (aging began to accelerate) backwards and this has always been easy for me, although this time was the hardest I must add.
Skincare, facial massage, the right skincare products, serums, astringent, masks, and I'm dabbling with derma rolling. I think I'd like to maybe leave that one to the professionals though. That one makes me nervous. I'm afraid I'll do it wrong. And it's also on my list to treat myself this year to some facials, etc.
Working on getting fit again because when I'm at my best weight and my skin is in check, I look my best. I've embraced my aging hair. Hair ages too. It's more thirsty now than ever and the texture has changed. I have my father's Puerto Rican hair, so this is a work in progress and I'm proud of how far my hair has come. Embracing my curls more and straightening less.
Embracing the little white hairs I'm getting cause once this starts happening you have to make the decision - dye or leave natural. I've personally never been one to dye my hair, just on occasion. I had a pretty natural brown with auburn highlights. So I tried dying my hair, not because I felt I had to, but because I wanted to and what I found for me is that dying my hair made me look older.
Maybe if I had it professionally done I'd feel different, I don't know. What I do know is I think gray hair is sexy. I also thought this in my 20s. I think a young face with some salt and pepper hair or graying hair is hot. I've got that Elvira thing going on, 😂. I don't mind it and I embrace it. I like my aging self.
So with all of that said...I wanted to share MY top 11 list of beautiful aging women in no particular order:
That's all for now...I think I've said enough. I mean, if you're gonna come at people for aging and shame women you better be looking like a young Brad Pitt. Look in the mirror before judging others...lacks class to age shame anyone. Just sayin...And I apologize for the censored profanities (I censored myself) but this s**t had me tight...😂✌️
With Love,
Carmen
Sunday, April 25, 2021
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)